Jun 14, 2007
6 Things Everybody needs to know before going to China
Coming to China can definitely be a tricky transition. And in order to help make that transition easier for people, Ryan has started a group writing project, encouraging people to write on the topic If I knew then what I know now.
So here’s my contribution. Just a few points that I think are important for anyone who decides to come to China:
1. The DVD Trap
I wish I had known enough to stay clear of watching so many DVDs. If you’re in a new environment, and haven’t made any friends yet, it’s very easy to hole yourself up inside your apartment and watch all three Die Hard movies.
Don’t.
You’ll have plenty of time to watch TV and movies when you go home. That said, I still find that these days I still spend a little too much time than I should watching TV and movies online.
Just try to find a happy balance.
2. Angry? Try to see it from their side.
The first Chinese sentence that I was taught (by a fellow expat) was “?????” or “What are you looking at?” Most non-Asians will try to develop some way to deal with the constant staring, and that sentence is one of the most common ones.
If you’re like me, at some point you may have tried to put such “defensive/comeback phrases” in your Chinese language arsenal. When someone would try to cheat me in the market, I’d sometimes shoot back “??????????” or “Is your mother proud of you?”
In retrospect, probably not the most mature way to handle such a situation. I think it’s always a good practice to ask yourself “Would I cheat the foreigner if I needed the cash?”
And if that doesn’t work, I try to ask myself “What would Jesus do if someone tried to charge him 7 kuai for a pack of 6 kuai Zhongnanhais?”
3. Study Chinese Study Chinese Study Chinese
Yes, study Chinese. If you only speak English in this country, you’re only able to speak to a certain small percentage of the population. And most likely, it’s going to be from the same demographic (i.e. young people who have studied English). It’s really cool to be able to sit and have a chat with a middle-aged taxi driver, or some random old man in the square. I wish I could have seen the value of that when I first arrived here.
Oh, and I wish I’d had Chinesepod back then too…
4. Oh, and dating…
The game has a whole different set of rules here.
Enough said.
5. Get to Know Chinese people outside of Work/School
I’ve heard a lot of expats in China say things like this: “Despite having lived in China for X years, I can’t really say that I have many really close Chinese friends.” I’m not sure why this is. But speaking from my own personal experience, I find that my longest lasting relationships here in China are ones where money is not involved in any way (i.e. Relationships outside of work/business).
6. China attracts all sorts
Not entirely unrelated to point number 5– After my first few months in China I found that I was spending to much time in bars with other foreigners. I thought to myself “Self, why did you come to China if you’re only going to spend time with other western people?”
But after a while I came to realize that these are no ordinary westerners.
Many of the people you meet here are really interesting characters, with some pretty fascinating stories and ideas. As it happened, I’m very glad that I met people like Dan, Derrick, Ryan, Alex, and Chris — not your every-day gang of laowai.
And here are some final bonus mini-tips:
- 7. Never get in a bar fight. If you do, and your opponent makes a call on his cell phone, run like the fucking wind!
- 8. Never assume your beer will be served cold. But if you get a warm one, don’t be an ass. Just make sure you specify what you want next time.
- 9. Hold the door open for people, even if no one ever holds it open for you.
- 10. And for god’s sake, if you’re going to teach English, make sure you research the school before you go.
For more China information, check out LostLaowai.com and The HaoHao Report. And if you came here searching for information on the City of Dalian, drop on over to DalianDalian.com.
Most of your point would be valable for any foreigner in any country no?
Maybe China is the first country you’ve staid?
Anyway I’ve started to work on the 5 point before going to China.
ChinesePod is good for the oral, I also use a more traditionnal online courses:
http://www.chinese-tools.com/learn/chinese
See you there!
Awesome post! Aside from #2, I agree with everything you said.
Now, on to #2. Heh, your turn-the-other-cheek advice for this writing project is exactly 180 degrees from mine, which is to go ahead and assert yourself. Instead of asking WWJD, I’d say ask WWGD (Would would ??? [Ge-menr] do)–my male Chinese friends probably wouldn’t go so far as to bark about the clerk’s mother, but they’d surely through in a few “????”s. When in Rome…
Furthermore, there’s no better language practice than arguing. And yes, I would be pissed if a clerk at 7-11 wanted to charge me $3.50 for a $3.00 pack of cigarettes. And no, I wouldn’t cheat a foreigner just because I needed the money.
Jeff G Deutsch
@Rick: All good points. In particular, No. 9 sums it all up for me. It just sorta says (to me) “don’t lose yourself to what you see is the unpoliteness of others.” That’s really tough to do when you’ve been here for a few months.
Though, Jeff, I do agree with what you’re saying as well. There’s a balance to be made. If people, by my standards, are being rude, I’ll try and let it go, but if someone is blatantly ripping me off, I tell them to get fucked.
some good points there, and good to hear “Hold the door open for people, even if no one ever holds it open for you”, which is a nicely laid-back attitude.
I agree with everyone who agrees with Jeff. Just because they need the money, doesn’t mean every foreigner in China becomes a walking charity fund. I’m a locally engaged foreigner, yes, I make more money then most Chinese, but doesn’t mean I have lots to throw around. To most of those street venders, foreigners are walking dollar signs. Mind you, I think it is great they are actually doing something constructive to support themselves. Anyway, my partner (who is Chinese) would never allow me to pay too much, is intent on screwing down the price of any non-ticketed item as low as he can go. So, in my opinion, it is more than just being balanced, it is about being fair. And if you still have moral issues with that, then just think, why should you pay more for the same item when the locals get it cheaper??? If the locals won’t stand to be ripped off, then why should we?
Re: Point number 2–
I have to admit, very often I get too angry when faced with blatant cheating.
And for a while, I tried to come up with some effective way of letting them know they were being less-than-respectable citizens.
While the “Is your mother proud of you” line seemed to do the job, I found it was almost too effective. And I left the situation feeling like more of an ass than I thought they were.
I’m not completely sure of the best way to handle these situations. But the point I’m trying to make is, in a nutshell, don’t let assholes turn you into an asshole.
Try to conduct yourself a little better than the level those guys are operating on.
If you’re a businessperson who is going to China to do business or negotiate anything check this out. Some useful tips.
http://www.hrdo.com/Chinese-negotiation.html