The trouble with taking the high road

25 Jul

Posted by Rick as Culture

As I said before, my brother is in town visiting and it’s been great fun so far. But it has given me an interesting perspective on my life here - watching him watching me, observing him observe how I live here.

But my brother has been surprised by my short temper when faced with certain day-to-day “China problems:”

Two ladies walk into an elevator, glance at us and start chatting:

Them: Those foreigners don’t understand what we’re saying.
Me: How the hell do you know?

We walk by a taxi, and the driver has a Ha-llo-orgasm:

Taxi driver: Hallo! Hallo! Taxi! Taxi! Hallo! HALLO! HALLO!
Me: You don’t think I saw you? You’re brain has a problem.

The China Mobile guy says he can’t get me GPRS service on my new phone:

Guy [in english]: No! no! no! (he then dismissively turns his eyes to nothing in particular off to the right)
Me: Wow, you’re really polite. Try smiling next time. It’s good for business.

A huge Sharpei dog (the size of a small horse) nearly kills my pekinese Pepe. It’s the second time that the Sharpei has attacked a dog in our building, but the owner keeps bringing it to the park area all the same:

Me: Is this your dog?
Owner: Yes.
Me: He just nearly killed my dog.
Owner: Sorry about that.
Me: Sorry doesn’t accomplish anything. This is not the first time your dog has attacked another. It won’t be the last. This dog is too big for these small apartments, it should be in the countryside.
Owner: Your dog should be in the countryside.
Me: You don’t know how to take care of dogs. You’re ridiculous.

Justified or not, I think I’m a little quick in my backtalk lately. Possibly due to a few bumps in the road here recently — well, more specifically a single bump — enough that might have made some pack it in and head back home. Me and my girlfriend are still considering that option. We’ll see.

But in any case, my Sino-fuse seems to have gotten shorter. And I think I’m gonna have to make a bigger effort at not extrapohating.

The trouble with taking the highroad in these situations is that it’s just not that easy.

Even when I feel justified in saying something back, or getting angry — I’m still not sure it’s the right thing to do.

Is it even worth the trouble?

Does it make a difference?

Maybe I should just move to Shanghai. I never hear John Pasden bitching about this kinda thing…

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7 Responses

Xiao Zhu

July 25th, 2007 at 9:30 am
1

I totally understand your short temper. Anybody with decent Chinese and has lived in China for a while will blow their fuse at Chinese ignorance (i.e thinking foreigners can’t speak Chinese and are unable to directly communicate with them.)
Jeremy

July 26th, 2007 at 12:44 am
2

Hi Rick,

Completely understand your pain.

Try and take a vacation or trip back home soon - do it now! Before it’s too late… heh heh heh.
admin

July 26th, 2007 at 1:31 am
3

Thanks Jeremy.

And to make matters worse, I just lost to my brother in fucking Monopoly!

Worst board game ever!
The Humanaught

July 26th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
4

I feel your pain man. And I don’t know that Shanghai’s much better, but there definitely seems to be a politeness difference between the north and the south. Maggie, whom is 东北人, noticed it when we returned to Dalian the first time after living here in Suzhou. In her words, they were rougher and whinier than people in Suzhou - who are known for being soft spoken (so much so that the women repeatedly nag the men about being too effeminate).

The problem, as I’ve seen it for a long while, is that no matter how many people you tell off there’s always a great deal more people waiting in ~~line~~ a clusterfuck mob just dying to piss you off.

PS: The Game of Life, now there’s a board game.
Chinaman

July 27th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
5

Try a nice, cold beer. It’s just too hot to get that excited…
Jeff

August 1st, 2007 at 2:24 pm
6

I get angry here frequently, but usually regret it later. I mean, who cares if you make a point with the person who pissed you off? And you are aren’t going to change China. So, I suggest keeping your cool and focus on the great things about this place, since there are many.
another-laowai

August 1st, 2007 at 10:18 pm
7

Arrived, acted similarly, five years for me … most of the situations you describe I have personally experienced.

But you get used to it.

Perhaps I handle them like Chinese now .. rude service, I yell and make a scene. Same as Chinese.

Probably cause: Just divorced a dongbeiren myself and I seem to have taken on the same characteristics myself.

Currently having a couple of months break out of the country, damn it’s been good for my mental health to leave for awhile…

It’s too much to do China all-on for a long time… I thought I could handle it, but I couldnt, either.

Everything in moderation!

And GPRS works, but you need to enable it then wait until the 1st of the next month … I did this in Shanghai years ago, see http://pratyeka.org/6610-gprs/ for more info