PandaPassport.com – China Blog

From the website rense.com comes an interesting photo slideshow of how one Chinese guy deals with a kidnapper.

Disclaimer: I’m not too familiar with rense.com, so I’m not entirely sure of the source of these photos. But here are the captions as reported on that site.

The piece ends with an interesting comparison of how this situation might be handled in another country (or America):

In this country, we would block off the street, take 12 hours to talk him out of it, spend $5 million to give him a fair trial; pay his food and lodging for life.

No wonder their products are cheaper than ours.

Courtesy of one the most trusted names in news, the onion brings us the story of Yun Mei. She’s a captive zoo panda who’s found herself knocked up and debating whether or not it’s better to have a kid destined for zoo life — or to just off the little fucker before he begins…

Panda Demands Abortion

Fascinating stuff…

The World Economic Forum has started here in Dalian, and there are a number of bloggers covering the event. Kaiser Kuo, Thomas Crampton, Rebecca Mackinnon… Cory Doctorow from Boing Boing is here, but I’ve yet to see him actually blog anything about it (aside from a video interview).

But in any case, I did write a CNet post on the nagging question that’s on everybody’s mind but, as Rebecca says, nobody seems willing to discuss:

World Economic Forum in Dalian – Can you Spell Irony?

What’s so ironic?

Well, this whole Davos/WEF conference is held in a spirit of free information exchange in the interests of development. China, aside from being the host of this years forum, is in the past few days simultaneously launching an all out censorship attack, restricting free online information exchange on the Chinese internet.

Does that strike anyone else as strange? Jimmy Wales, are you out there?

Kinda like attending a Christmas party hosted by the Grinch, is it not?

Is no one else writing about this?
Or is everybody liking the eggnog too much?

One of my co-bloggers over at CNET Asia, Jonathan Gardner, reports on a Digitimes article regarding the apparent leaking of Apples new iPod line-up, before the big announcement is officially made.

Apple has scheduled a big event for tomorrow, titled “The Beat goes on.”

According to the Digitimes article listed above, here are some details of what to expect from the new iPod line-up:

• iPod Video – Widescreen, an operating interface similar to the iPhone, built-in Wi-Fi connectivity
• iPod Nano – Increased storage capacity, iPhone-like interface, price to remain unchanged
• iPod Shuffle – Increased storage capacity, price to remain unchanged

But even more interesting, is what some are speculating about this event.

Will they finally release the Beatles catalogue for iTunes?

Will Steve Jobs reunite surviving Beatles members Paul and Ringo for the event?

It’s worth noting that Apples tag line for the event, “The Beat goes on,” is the exact same as the final words on the Beatles last press release:

When the spinning stops — that’ll be the time to worry, not before. Until then, the Beatles are alive and well and the beat goes on, the beat goes on.

Update: As expected, new iPod nanos. I like to call ‘em the fatty.

And the phoneless iPhone, the new iPod Touch:

No Beatles talk however. So that speculation was all for naught…

Picture it.

The execs for a Chinese toy company are sitting around the table in a boardroom, wracking their brains on how they can convince the American public that their toys are safe, cute, wonderful, and cuddly — as opposed to sharp, pokey, explodie, and lead-y.

Hmmm….

“But Boss, our products really are sharp, pokey and full of lead. And they really do explode!”

Mixed in with the smoke from several Zhonghua cigarettes, a depressing silence also hangs in air, as they all realize that their toys are indeed sharp, pokey, explodie, and lead-y.

“I got it! Why don’t we just change the packaging a little?”

“Brilliant Johnny! Just BRILLIANT! I think it’s about time you got a promotion.”

And thus it was that Benign Girl was born.

Yes, you heard me. Benign Girl.

via Boing Boing.

This sh*t is foolproof!

Everybody struggles with chopsticks at first. It’s a fact of life. But if you’re one of those people just can’t do it right, no matter how hard you try — well, never fear!

Here are a few tips to help you pimp out your sticks.

How to make Spring Loaded Chopsticks

It’s simple really. And I’m amazed that after 5000 years of history, the Chinese haven’t built this into their design.

Just remove the wooden parts of a clothes-pin, and replace them with two chopsticks. Pure brilliance!

via Howtoons by way of Lifehacker

How to make Spring Loaded Chopsticks, with no dangerous metal parts

But if you’re scared of losing an eye from a possible chopstick kickback, or if you have kids whose eyes are equally valuable, you might want to try this method. It makes use of a rubber band, and a folded-up paper chopstick wrapper acting as a fulcrum.

via Jake Ludington (also by way of Lifehacker)

Need a Case for those Bad Boys?

Try the patented Sinocidal Chopstick Quiver. Now you have a reason to save those old used MacDonalds straws!

If none of that interests you, and you want to go it the old way, go check out:

How to Use Chopsticks in 7 Easy Steps

This is one movie that for some reason had slipped away onto the dusty back shelves of my memory — somewhere near Fraggle Rock and Spaghettios.

If you like flicks like Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, you’ll probably like this.

Willem Dafoe plays a cute little gay-arse detective in hot pursuit of two renegade Irish-American vigilante justice-seekers seeking justice.

There’s a tag line if I ever heard one…

I’m not linking to it directly, but you might find Boondock Saints by putting this into google: ??? site:youku.com

Of course, officially I recommend you go buy the DVD.