Coming to China can definitely be a tricky transition. And in order to help make that transition easier for people, Ryan has started a group writing project, encouraging people to write on the topic If I knew then what I know now.
So here’s my contribution. Just a few points that I think are important for anyone who decides to come to China:
1. The DVD Trap
I wish I had known enough to stay clear of watching so many DVDs. If you’re in a new environment, and haven’t made any friends yet, it’s very easy to hole yourself up inside your apartment and watch all three Die Hard movies.
Don’t.
You’ll have plenty of time to watch TV and movies when you go home. That said, I still find that these days I still spend a little too much time than I should watching TV and movies online.
Just try to find a happy balance.
2. Angry? Try to see it from their side.
The first Chinese sentence that I was taught (by a fellow expat) was “?????” or “What are you looking at?” Most non-Asians will try to develop some way to deal with the constant staring, and that sentence is one of the most common ones.
If you’re like me, at some point you may have tried to put such “defensive/comeback phrases” in your Chinese language arsenal. When someone would try to cheat me in the market, I’d sometimes shoot back “??????????” or “Is your mother proud of you?”
In retrospect, probably not the most mature way to handle such a situation. I think it’s always a good practice to ask yourself “Would I cheat the foreigner if I needed the cash?”
And if that doesn’t work, I try to ask myself “What would Jesus do if someone tried to charge him 7 kuai for a pack of 6 kuai Zhongnanhais?”
3. Study Chinese Study Chinese Study Chinese
Yes, study Chinese. If you only speak English in this country, you’re only able to speak to a certain small percentage of the population. And most likely, it’s going to be from the same demographic (i.e. young people who have studied English). It’s really cool to be able to sit and have a chat with a middle-aged taxi driver, or some random old man in the square. I wish I could have seen the value of that when I first arrived here.
Oh, and I wish I’d had Chinesepod back then too…
4. Oh, and dating…
The game has a whole different set of rules here.
Enough said.
5. Get to Know Chinese people outside of Work/School
I’ve heard a lot of expats in China say things like this: “Despite having lived in China for X years, I can’t really say that I have many really close Chinese friends.” I’m not sure why this is. But speaking from my own personal experience, I find that my longest lasting relationships here in China are ones where money is not involved in any way (i.e. Relationships outside of work/business).
6. China attracts all sorts
Not entirely unrelated to point number 5– After my first few months in China I found that I was spending to much time in bars with other foreigners. I thought to myself “Self, why did you come to China if you’re only going to spend time with other western people?”
But after a while I came to realize that these are no ordinary westerners.
Many of the people you meet here are really interesting characters, with some pretty fascinating stories and ideas. As it happened, I’m very glad that I met people like Dan, Derrick, Ryan, Alex, and Chris — not your every-day gang of laowai.
And here are some final bonus mini-tips:
- 7. Never get in a bar fight. If you do, and your opponent makes a call on his cell phone, run like the fucking wind!
- 8. Never assume your beer will be served cold. But if you get a warm one, don’t be an ass. Just make sure you specify what you want next time.
- 9. Hold the door open for people, even if no one ever holds it open for you.
- 10. And for god’s sake, if you’re going to teach English, make sure you research the school before you go.
For more China information, check out LostLaowai.com and The HaoHao Report. And if you came here searching for information on the City of Dalian, drop on over to DalianDalian.com.
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