Pandapassport Blog - Life in China
From Dalian, China --- "What are those wacky Dongbei-ren up to today?"
This is a follow up to my July 7th 2006 story, Baseball Fever: Could the Next Ichiro be Chinese?
Ok. Hypothetical question: What would happen if the Three Stooges fired Larry (I never liked him anyway) and hired Mike Tyson as a replacement? What would happen if they all just happened to be Chinese? I think it might go a little something like this:
Note: This actually happened. I translated this (roughly) from a Chinese news website, and I say roughly because my Chinese is not so good, and I also got a nice bottle of red wine on hand. Enjoy!
A peasant dude named Song, from Qiqihar, his buddy Ma, and four other guys came to do some work in Dalian. They usually get along pretty well. But on June 26th, they were drinking at a certain restaurant on Xianggong Jie, and ended up getting themselves quite pissed. When one of these guys suggests they play poker, our man Song says "I'm not playing with Ma. It's too friggin' boring."
Ma is a decent fella, and can take a joke. But after repeated insults, he gets more and more pissed off. He ends up throwing our man Song on the ground. A scuffle ensues, and after a lot of Chinese rough and tumble, Ma pulls a variation of a Mike Tyson and bites Song's nose. Song screams and tries to kick Ma away. But Ma has a firm grasp of Song with not only his hands, but his teeth as well. Finally, Song's nose comes completely off (yes, his nose comes off!) and Ma spits it on the ground. (bu hao chi ma?). Song, understandably surprised and shocked (and somewhat in pain) picks his nose up off the ground and runs to a nearby hospital.
The doctor sews Mr. Song's nose back onto Mr. Song's face, and eventually he recovers quite well. However there will be a bit of a scar.
On July 4, Song went to report the incident to the police, and they have started working on the case. But still have no leads as to Iron Ma Tyson's whereabouts.
Tags: China, Chinese, Chinese version of Mike Tyson, Dalian, Newfoundland, Nose bitten off, newfie, Mike Tyson, pandapassport, Drunken Chinese Fight, FIGHT CLUB CHINA!
Ok. Hypothetical question: What would happen if the Three Stooges fired Larry (I never liked him anyway) and hired Mike Tyson as a replacement? What would happen if they all just happened to be Chinese? I think it might go a little something like this:
Note: This actually happened. I translated this (roughly) from a Chinese news website, and I say roughly because my Chinese is not so good, and I also got a nice bottle of red wine on hand. Enjoy!
A peasant dude named Song, from Qiqihar, his buddy Ma, and four other guys came to do some work in Dalian. They usually get along pretty well. But on June 26th, they were drinking at a certain restaurant on Xianggong Jie, and ended up getting themselves quite pissed. When one of these guys suggests they play poker, our man Song says "I'm not playing with Ma. It's too friggin' boring."
Ma is a decent fella, and can take a joke. But after repeated insults, he gets more and more pissed off. He ends up throwing our man Song on the ground. A scuffle ensues, and after a lot of Chinese rough and tumble, Ma pulls a variation of a Mike Tyson and bites Song's nose. Song screams and tries to kick Ma away. But Ma has a firm grasp of Song with not only his hands, but his teeth as well. Finally, Song's nose comes completely off (yes, his nose comes off!) and Ma spits it on the ground. (bu hao chi ma?). Song, understandably surprised and shocked (and somewhat in pain) picks his nose up off the ground and runs to a nearby hospital.
The doctor sews Mr. Song's nose back onto Mr. Song's face, and eventually he recovers quite well. However there will be a bit of a scar.
On July 4, Song went to report the incident to the police, and they have started working on the case. But still have no leads as to Iron Ma Tyson's whereabouts.
Tags: China, Chinese, Chinese version of Mike Tyson, Dalian, Newfoundland, Nose bitten off, newfie, Mike Tyson, pandapassport, Drunken Chinese Fight, FIGHT CLUB CHINA!
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